There I was, sitting at the fireplace, scribbling over and over what I was fed up with in relationships.
The men, that were just barely 'all in' with me, if at all.
What did I do to deserve this? Why couldn't I just find a man that adored me so deeply that he fell to his knees? A man that would give his life for me. A man that lived to serve me, that was the opposite of questioning if he was 'all in' for me.
So, I got clear on that. At the time, I was in a relationship that was good but he was afraid to really say YES to me. It brought up all this anger in me... from my relationship with my father, people growing up, family members, friends, etc. It's like the entire world was looking at me and saying "You're not worthy of being chosen. You're not good enough to be the One."
And that's the pain that was being activated in being with this man. I felt the readiness to say No to that reflection, and invite in a new one, one in which I was fully committed to, devoted to, chosen and claimed by a beloved.
As I was going through this process of letting go of the relationship, I began feeling a new energy come into my space. I had friends feel into it and also tell me that I would be meeting someone new, soon.
For a few months there, I was in this weird place of knowing the relationship I was in would be ending, because in the quantum realm I had already chosen something different. I had chosen a new experience: being with a man that was 'all in.'
I kept tuning into the vision of what I wanted my next partnership to be like. I wrote my list and edited many times. I felt solid with it. It was a strange transitional period where I was letting go of the current relationship and attuning to the next one. But I didn't have any certainty it would happen, just intuition. But I knew I had to leave the current one, because I had already chosen, written my list, and gotten clear of what I was and was not available for in relationship.
In this period, I would lean into spirit and ask "how will I meet this next person? When will it happen?"
In trying to understand how I would meet him (I was in a period of being quite the homebody and barely leaving the community I lived at), the clearest answer I received was: "he will come to you."
During this time, a new roommate moved into the home I was living at. I did have a spark of interest in him, but I was still in a relationship.
This roommate and I would have friendly conversations about relationships, spirituality, philosophy and more, all around that same fireplace I had scribbled down my angst at a few months earlier. The most notable moment was when we were discussing what we were both calling in a relationship and shared our "lists" with each other. We had basically described each other to a T. Him: "freckles, musician, cute feet" etc. Me: "100% chooses & claims me, wants a future with me, interested in financial mastery" etc.
Right around this time, I finally had the courage to let my then-partner know that the relationship wasn't working for me. I felt so empowered in doing this, and, might I add, it was quite the leap, because this relationship was, afterall, pretty good. He offered me a lot of the things I desired, and he was, in time, becoming more committed. But again, I had already decided a few months earlier what I was truly calling in.
I spent the next month or so in this period of darkness, where nothing was happening. It was the darkest time of the year, and as such I felt absolutely no real life within me. I had just left this relationship that offered me companionship, affection, provision, etc., in pursuit of what my soul was yearning for in partnership, but that partnership hadn't shown up. I didn't know if or when I would meet this other person I was feeling. I was not thinking it would be my roommate, because although it seemed like we wanted similar things in relationship, it didn't feel like he was the person I was calling in.
Until... it made itself fairly obvious. It was clear that our feelings were growing. It was clear there was something between us.
Finally, right around Imbolc (Feb 2nd), the tension mounted and, as we were both up on the roof helping scrape moss off it, I just kinda blurted out "I feel sexual tension between us." (LOL, thank you to my Mercury in Aries placement. :P)
From there, we entered into relationship (the story of all the things we've been though since then is another story!) But I will say, he immediately FULLY claimed, chose, adored, & embraced me (to the point where I was the one that had commitment issues.) Hilarious how the universe works.
In essence, this was the man I was feeling, I was getting to by saying No to what I didn't want to settle for anymore.
Take away in this magnetization process:
I listened to and honored my NO, which led me to my YES. When I decided I would no longer settle for my NO, and called in my YES, everything started moving in that direction.
Thank you for reading. I hope this helps shed light on the energetics around magnetization, refusing to settle, and calling in that which your soul desires.
P.S. Feel free to comment: where are you at in the process of calling in your dream partner? I'd love to hear your thoughts...
P.P.S. If you'd like help getting clear and calling in your next partner, I've condensed my own process into this quick & affordable guide Dream it to Receive It: check it out here!
